a chio picture to entertain you if you don't want to read my slash-wrist-emo-rant post. hee.

i'm JOKING la. i'm not that full of myself yet.

however, i do reaaally like this picture and exclaimed "OMG i look damn chio can!" to the amusement of nick whistle i was visiting the poor bugger in hospital.

-

i cut my hair, no one can notice its almost 3 inches shorter.

-

emopost.

i am soooo agitated by everything nowadays. i slept at 4 yesterday, partially doing project, partially panicking, and i knew i couldn't do work at 4 either cause i was too mentally exhausted, but i couldn't fall asleep either.

my pile of work is steadily increasing again even though, I AM doing my work. the work just piles up and i don't know how to cope with it.

i have so many projects and it takes so much time to do everything. who i am now is MILES away from who i was just over a year ago. i was the ultimate slacker, everyone would call me and ask WHERE i was in town, not IF i was in town. i had so much more time, and i was so much less stressed. 

in a way this really benefits me because i know in later life i'm gonna have to learn this skill of planning ahead of time and actually doing my work in advance so that i dont end up not sleeping the day before the submission of me work.

just because this is good for me doesn't mean i don't miss my old life, in fact, i resent my school now for doing this to me and question my love for what i do.

i'm doing work constantly, even when im at a chalet, which is incredibly sad. i'm also eating alot more due to stress and have the constant need to do something.

i actually am in physical fear of the oncoming thursday wondering if i will bring everything to school, if i will finish my work. if ill fail.

a girl in my class actually was forced to defer this term (paying for term AND deferment fees) because she didn't have money to pay. so she would have to retake this term, PAY for it, and PAY retaking fees.

which would add up to something close to 10k

isn't that disgusting, and  that pretty much sums up the attitude of my school towards money.

.

and my mom has been giving e a hard time about my ATM card as well. i went from 1.2k to $122

partially due to that $230+ shopping spree and my brazillian ($160), clubbing (approx. 100+) and my haircut and treatment ($100)

$360

+230

590

+ miscellaneous stuff.

= my bank account GONE.

she was screaming and screaming and screaming at me while i was doing my homework. making me angry and unproductive, on cue, my dad comes home drunk and insulting, all of this is directed at me of course. i mean, who else is to take the venting? ME. cause i have no right to talk back. and so. oh yes the fuckwit HAD to start cooking this chilli thing, which takes like 4000 liters to a DROP of it to dilute it till you feel nothing when you drink. i am not exaggerating. so my dad happyily in drunk state poured about 5 drops. and the WHOLE house became unbreathe-able due to the chilli in the air. my mom, my dad, and i were HACKING it was so bad, and because of that, i, again, couldn't do my work.

whyyyy is it i always kena.

-

anyway tonight i have a hell of alot of work to do to finish all of my work, my bustier, my evening wear, my muslin etc. i don't want to be staying up again tomorrow. so. omg. i'm just scared la.

oh yes, karen wants me to open up  MYSAVINGS account. basically meaning i save moneeeey. every month money will go into this account, transfered from my NORMAL account and it will build up, the intrest goes up all the way to 3k. catch, i must put money into this account.

my 600 from CNY is still at home. 

but i was hoping to save that for my hellokitty MJ set.

or save the chivas money ($400) which seems to never be coming.