Sunday, November 23, 2008
alert, emo post coming up.
oh gosh its another year, another year of growing up and maturity levels rising, lessons learnt friends made and lost. what brought on this emo spur? i was looking through old photos, the ones i printed out last time, i started pasting them on top of my 160cm mirror.
all the little people in those photos had no idea what was coming.
in this past year, i've seperated from alot of friends,
jems for example used to be so much closer.
sarah who has new medicine friends and wenlong, and though she doesn't mean to, drifts away.
ebel who was always busy anyway.
max who just gets so caught up with everything and has her own life.
karen who has terris
daanish who became a druggie
my ex-schoolmates.
kibbles who left me so long ago.
i mean i don't blame them i've been so distant what with school and all.
but its just sad that they all just need me less.
and i relearnt this year that primary schoolish two faced people still exist in life and never to trust people that you dont really talk to because not everyone might like you as much as they let on, and that not everyone likes you.
i hate that i have to go clubbing with people i don't really know cause my friends haven't hit the age or because they're too busy to club with me and i really want to go so what fucking chioce do i have?
i wish i could say that my old friends are enough and they're all i need, but they're ALWAYS too busy with boyfriends and friends etc. i'm a social person and my friends can't always entertain me so i look for new people to hang out with but again, i realise, they're mostly fake. so i sit at home alone most of the time now.
oh how i hate that i hate being alone ._.
iwishiwish i just didn't feel. iwish that i was indifferent if people called me out or not.
iwish i didn't care that people haven't tried calling me out at all for the entire weekend or the many weekends before that.
save you nick!
--
anyway my dad is back from god knows where with a very stinky bag, a broken rib and a dead friend (who died on the first day)
jade;d @ 7:42 PM