Wednesday, January 16, 2008
omg, i should have posted this long ago but i was lazy.
adapted from karen
"also I have to release the real truth about Jade and me.
We're secret lesbian lovers.
no joke.
Terris is just a cover for any mess that might come up.
We pay him to do that.
He's our PR.
okay. anyway. hurhur.
The real truth about Jade and I is that, we are truly sisters, SERIOUSLY.
Okay, I shall explain how Jade and I can be sisters when we have different parents, different surnames and birthdays a month apart.
17 years ago, there was a man who had an affair with another woman, who was not his wife. This man was seriously fucking suay. Both his legal wife and his "other woman" became pregnant like 2 weeks apart. This man tried desperately to keep hiding the secret affair and the secret child a big fat secret, but man being man being born without brains, occasionally let it slip by confusing himself with the two women and their different needs. Soon enough, the wife became suspicious and searched for the other woman. When the wife found the other woman she became furious with her husband, not just because he cheated on her, but the audacity to still try and shrink from responsibility and deny the other woman the proper respect, care and so on. The wife pitied the other woman and they soon set their differences aside and became friends, they cruised through their pregnancy terms together. Being the support that the poor bastard husband wasn't.
The man, greatly stressed out by having to take care of two heavily pregnant women, died of a heart attack right in the second trimester. The two women, though support for each other, agreed that their two kids could not grow up without fathers as bastard as they all are. They craved for a normal family. So the two women, searched for new husbands, okay men who could pass off the father job ok. Heavily pregnant, the two women remarried and then, the wife went into labour early, her child was two weeks earlier than expected. So coincidentally, the other woman had her child 2 weeks later then her expected date.
The two kids grew up into the Karen Jewell and Jade Quinton you know today. Born 15 Nov and 21 Dec 1991 in Scotland and France Respectively.
Jade insists that her mother is the "other woman" because that makes her mum hotter, but that makes my mum more compassionate. right.
So Jade and I have the same dead father, our mothers remarried. We've done our homework.
All of you who knew us before 2008, we'll let you believe the old story that Jade and I never met until by chance when in 2004, MOELC screwed up our French classes and put both Jade and I in the beginners class instead of the main stream class. We don't want to confuse you.
All of you who we know from 2008 onwards, we'll feed you the new true story.
There you go, the great mystery explained. ^-^
jade;d @ 11:06 PM
